The English Patient

Long time ago since my last blog, but ey this is an MBA! Did you expect to have some spare time at all? No, but...
And right now I'm more on the but side. Today could have been remembered as the worst day in my live, but thanks God, was only the worst half an hour in my life (until now).

And the thing is that I have time to write this, because I'm actually on drugs and can not concentrate on the things that MBAtters.

Why am I on drugs? Because the Walsgrave hospital kindly gave them to me. Why did they gave them to me? Because... ok, let's do it properly and start from the beginning.

I've been having problems with my back lately, let's say that the bed and chairs provided by the university in my accommodation, lakeside, didn't win the price to the comfortability (to be honest I don't know if the could passed the lowest quality standards).

At the beginning was only a bit of pain every now and then, but the thing was going worse and worse. Then my girlfriend visited me, and of course I ask her for a massage, she's really good at it but not this time, because after her departure the pain was increasing steadily until the fact that last night I had to sleep on the chair, because the pain was terrible if I tried to lay back on the bed.

You don't know me, but I can tell you that I'm the kind of guy who doesn't go to the doctor until is to late and the damage is done. So this morning I went to the Health centre here in Warwick University. I don't have anything against British people in general, but let's say that not for saying more pleases and thank yous people are more polite. In Spain we rarely use them and ey aren't we one of the nicest and warmest countries in the world?
But let's focus, I went there on my own to ask for an urgent visit.

• Urgent do you say? Where is blood? Why aren't you laying in a stretcher?
• Ok lady, the blood flows through the veins and I don't lay becasue my back is so terrible injured that I cannot even sit down without having some stars flying around my head.
• Ahh, I see, urgent, ok, what about at 5:15 this evening.
• If this is the best I can get that's ok, I 've been already suffering on my own for two days.
• Ok, but remember to bring 50 pounds because you're not staying in our beloved country more than one year.
• Fair enough.

Go to class, go home, eat, syndicate group meeting, doctor. This looks a good plan for today, but It changed a bit. Terrible back pain the whole day, and it becomes even worse during the meeting. We can call it stress or tension or whatever, but the result is me standing up, going to the hall and suddenly collapsing. My back said hasta la vista baby with the most awful pain I've ever had in my whole life, of course no possibility to sit neither to lay on the floor. Ask for help (thanks Tawanda, Felix, Ajay, Mehra, Peris, Wilson, Larissa, whoever was also there), the give me a chair not to sit but to lean my arms. The pain increases and increases till I feel that I'm gonna lose my conscience. I ask for aspirins of painkillers. Not a single aspirin in the school, and even if the receptionist had one it i not accepted to give it to the students, again British politeness.

Ten minutes of endless pain and screaming, but don't worry, they're coming. First paramedic unit comes to rescue me, no aspirin, no painkillers, no sprays, but questions, thousand of questions that only I can reply, once again british politeness and procedures, while sinking in an ocean of pain, harvested of sorrows.

• When, where, why, how, name, address, what do you want me to do?
• Ehhh!! what do you thing? Relieve me!
• Beep, beep, no entry for that in the system, sorry not possible you should wait to the ambulance.
• Ambulance? but then who are you? (bad move, really polite British get offended if you don't constantly use the words please and thank you even if you say them with the worst tone)
• Ah, I see, is this a complaint? We have three more cases to assists now, Are you not satisfied with our service? Ok, You can fill in this form threefold and send it to...
• Helloooo I'm still here, trembling, sweating, on the edge of collapse, but still here, please go and assist these needy people. I just hope they only need a good chat to solve their problems.

Waiting for the second unit. People start to come and go, no optimistics thoughts. I hear something like if no traffic half an hour or maybe less, this shouldn't be happening in a country like this, no one has aspirins. Too many people too noisy, even more stress, I do not need more stress, at least Mehra and Ajay are using some spray on my back.

I feel like falling apart, then suddenly a new voice appears in the Edvard Munch scene. A friendly calmed voice, preaching for hope. I take some pills, but I'm in a second floor without elevator. (Yes, polite and multiracial people, but without caring too much about disabilities or the environment?) Now it's your turn Juanjo, my herald, my hero, lion heart, just arm yourself with courage, stand up and run down the stairs.

Once inside the ambulance one more issue, one has to sit down or lay back. Sit down or lay back? which part of that's the two things I'm unable to do since yesterday didn't you understand?

• Ok stay calm we have a cool gas for you, breath, breath deeper
• Oh, I see, oh well, whatever, nevermind. With the lights out is less dangerous.. a mosquito an albino yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.
• I think it's starting to make effect.
• One elephant went out to play upon a spider web one day. She had such enormousfun, she called for another elephant to come. Two elephants ...
• Yeap, I think so, let's go. Please, name, address, telephone number, blood type?
• Bla, bla, bla. Ey guys, are you sure this is completely legal? I want one for Christmas!
• lol, yes he's high, we're almost in the hospital, breath deeply because we'll remove it soon.

Wheel chair, door, wheel (big one, it must be a bus), ramp, door, yellow tiles, left, right, right again, stop. Same questions again, please wait here. [...] Left, white lane, right, bed.

• Would you prefer to lay back on the...
• I'm afraid I'm not.
• Alrite, same questions again, please wait here.

Wait, wait, wait, oh shit Felix I think the gas effect is wearing off, wait, wait.

• juyaunjo wuiz? Yes? Hello I'm doctor X ... same questions again.
• I have pain on my back.
• I see. Please lay back no the ...
• I can not.
• I see. Do you feel dizzy? [testing knees reflex]
• No, just pain on my back, just the muscles nothing in the bones.
• It hurts here? and here? and there? No bones or tendons affected, so nothing I can really do for you apart from giving you this awful lot of pain killers.
• Mhhh, ok, but some recommended exercise to recover sooner?
• I'm a doctor not a physiologist!!!
• I see, thank you, bye

So here I am now with my dear friends ibuprofen, paracetamol, dihydrocodeine and tradamol. Looking afraid at my bed, do I try it? Why not? Lets go. [...] Lateral position ok, but laying back still risky, one more doses, sleep well.